As Fate Would Have It

On Tuesday, September 25 2018, Zoey was run over by a car and it was my fault.

I live on a *residential* (no one goes the speed limit, everyone uses to get to their trailer park behind me…) street in a relatively small city. My home is rented and the only greenery on the property besides the veggie garden is the grass and some hostas that struggle to survive in the front yard. Due to the large back yard being dirt and rocks, I tend to enjoy letting my dogs out into the front to roll and lay in the grass while I water the struggling hostas. This was at least what I enjoyed. Now, those hostas are on their own.

Zoey is my Great Pyrenees X Siberian Husky. She is 3.5 years old and has a stubborn streak. Zoey also loves small children and small dogs. She’s NEVER not met a friend. Zoey is mellow and overweight.  Jasmine, on the other hand, is my boyfriend’s Pit Bull X Lab. She is almost 5 years old and channels the energizer bunny in every way. Those with labs, know their craziness. She’s fiercely protective of her home and her family, in that she will chase any other dog off her property…unless they won’t run. In that case, Jasmine becomes their friend and will invite them inside. Quite the pittie/lab personality mix.

These girls are two peas in a pod. So when they were lounging next to the hose, surveying their yard and the street in front of them, I was only mildly concerned that they needed to be shut inside when the young boy across the street decided to run towards us with his two small, leashed dogs.

I had seen the family come home. I had seen the dogs and the boy get out of the car. The girls had seen them too. So I had put the dogs in the house. But I hadn’t closed the front door. I had told them to stay. Sternly. Like I said, I was only mildly concerned.

Jasmine dashed first and narrowly missed the car coming. Zoey was following her sister. That’s what Zoey does. And in slow motion, I screamed for the car to stop, but it didn’t. And it hit Zoey straight on. And it went over her body that had fallen to the ground. AND then it stopped. Not even a centimeter before it rolled over her back leg.

My scream brought the neighbors to street. My boyfriend and his friend were outside instantly. I was pulling Zoey out from under that car before I knew anything else. All I can remember thinking was 1.) She might bite me, and I don’t care, and 2.) There was a good chance that I just killed my dog.

We put Zoey in the car and I drove to the emergency vet. They weren’t open for another half hour but they allowed us inside and Zoey was able to be put on oxygen while we waited for the doctor. While we were there, Zoey had brain swelling that caused a massive seizure. We left her that night with the chances of her survival at 30-50%.

Due to the size of our city, we do not have any veterinary hospital that is open 24/7. Our emergency vet is open overnight and weekends only, meaning no animals can stay during the day. As I found out…this is not ideal for a dog that needs ICU care. Prepared for the worst, I went the next morning to check on Zoey. I, of course hadn’t slept much and I didn’t know what I was walking into, only that she’d made it though the night.

Zoey had improved. Enough so that the decision was made to continue her care. Each mile stone that the vets told us Zoey needed to hit to keep going and not euthanize, Zoey hit. Every single one. This continued for the remainder of the week. Zoey was given an actually remarkable diagnosis for the trauma she’d experienced. She had crushed ribs, and a small lung tear. Her brain swelling was temporary and there didn’t seem to be lasting effects or brain damage. All good news. At some point, Zoey’s day veterinary team told us they weren’t seeing any use of Zoey’s left front leg. She wasn’t responding to pain from the shoulder down. I took this news well. Zoey was alive. Zoey would be coming home. It was probably swelling in her neck and ribs causing pinched nerves. I could handle it. I would take Zoey to rehab, and Zoey loves to swim, so we’d do lots of water therapy and once the swelling went down and her ribs healed, Zoey would be whole again.

Zoey came home after 6 different stays between the emergency/overnight vet and the daytime ICU vet. She was sore. And frustrated that she couldn’t use her leg. She was swollen and her middle was so bruised, she looked like a grape. She refused to eat or drink. Due to the nature of my job, my boyfriend became Zoey’s nurse. He had to use a turkey baster to get her to drink water, he had to carry her outside to go potty, and he had to watch her like a hawk so that she didn’t try to move around on her own. It was excruciating for them both. But Zoey prevailed. She healed enough to learn to walk (and run) without the use of her leg. She stopped needing around the clock pain medication. And her appetite came back with a vengeance.

I am so lucky to have had the help I did for Zoey’s first week home. The next 3 were smooth sailing. Similar to having a mid-age puppy, Zoey needed mild observation while outside and had to have help with stairs and getting in/out of the car but otherwise could be left home alone and was doing great. Except her leg didn’t come back.

At Zoey’s next check-up, 4 weeks post accident, her vet noticed that she was holding her head to the right. He tried to manipulate her neck, which she resisted. So he took some X-rays. Those pictures were the first concrete look I had into the severity of her accident. Zoey’s cervical neck area (from skull to shoulders) had been crushed… each disk was essentially non-existent. Her neck had mostly healed into an S shape. The vet explained that this was the reason for Zoey’s bum leg. The nerves to that front side of her body were most likely severed by the crush. This wasn’t really found previously due to trying to make sure her brain and her lungs were taken care of.

Now I’ve never, EVER, been one to agree with putting a pet down due to a silly thing like a bum leg. Or a bum two legs. I had zero hesitation, knowing that amputating the extra, dragging weight was the only choice. I made the appointment for 2 weeks later, on a Friday, knowing that I had a three day weekend coming.

The weeks between the accident and the amputation went so quickly. I had been bandaging her bum leg up to her chest, and Zoey got back to running after Jasmine in the park, attacking Jasmine’s legs when she could catch her. Zoey even took some pond and river dips. Jumping into and out of the car didn’t phase my girl. I was prepared for a surgery, a brief recovery and then my 3/4 legged dog. What I wasn’t prepared for was bringing Zoey home, and leaving her leg behind in the trash.

I’m writing this on Monday, November 12th. Zoey had her amputation on Friday, November 9th. This weekend has been the hardest on me since the night of the accident. I spent Saturday between joy for Zoey’s new life, and absolute heartache for her missing leg. I feel the need to mourn that leg. I don’t know if I will ever forgive myself for taking it away from her, for indirectly causing the accident that forever changed her life. I’ve cried more this weekend than I did in the interim. I’ve had flashbacks of her getting run over, as clear as if it happened yesterday.

But Zoey has had a great weekend. She left the vet by jumping into the car, came home and scarfed down her dinner before going to sleep in her bed. She has been outside burying pigs ears and beef bones in the dirt of the yard. (Her burying technique is gold btw) She’s even thrown a fit when being left behind as Jasmine goes for a morning walk. She’s currently sleeping soundly in her staples and tee-shirt. She couldn’t care less that her leg is gone. To Zoey, this is old news. Yes, she’s tender at the incision, and itchy from being shaved. But she’s a dog. She’s better than I, she has no flashbacks or tears for what’s missing. Zoey is only looking for what’s next.

I plan to enroll Zoey into a therapy dog class, with hopes of certification to visit rehabilitation hospitals. I want so badly for lemonade to come from these lemons of circumstance. Zoey just wants her next dip in the river. 😛

Zoey and I, along with my boyfriend and Jasmine, have survived one of the biggest traumas I’ve been through. Zoey with flying colors, me…they’re still at half-mast.

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